Mrs. Malaprop - December Edition

Last month I had a ton of fun with my Malaprop post.

Lots of people left their favorite mangled sayings in the comments section and by email, and good times were had by all.

SO, let's see what we ended up with shall we?

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First we'll start with one of my submissions. Just last week I overheard a woman at the mall complaining to her friend about a bridesmaid dress she was embarrassed to have to wear when she proclaimed,
"I'm going to feel totally sub-conscious in this thing."

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Deborah had this to say about a beauty she heard from her doctor...

This was actually overheard by my doc at the infusion center, I almost blew my ginger ale out my nose. Ok he is from a Latin American country so insert the accent...
"I've been going at this twenty-four, SEVENTEEN!"

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Catherine was clever enough to slip in this tongue-in-cheek malaprop while claiming she would get back to us with her own submissions later...
"I can't think of any right off the tip of the iceberg, but I will certainly be back soon."

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Neva's son is responsible for this ingenious statment... "I know you think I'm not the brightest leaf on the tree".

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Jenny actually admits to letting this one fly out of her mouth...

I once "caught two birds with one hand".

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Andi's husband overheard this delicious gem at a liquor store...
Woman 1: Have you tried that stuff?
Woman 2: Yes. It's definitely a required taste.

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Carla heard a coworker bring this one to life...
"If my grandmother were alive today, she'd be rolling over in her grave."

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Mom Thumb has gathered up a whole batch of these tasty treats...
"Got up on the wrong side of the tracks."
"I'll have his head on a silver spoon."
"There's more than one way to change your spots."
"Nothing is certain but death and the light at the end of the tunnel."

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Sandy's husband's boss once banged out this one...
"The calls are just coming in gang-bangs!"

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Elizabeth is responsible for this mix up...
I used to say "It's half of one, six dozen of another" until it was pointed out to me that those are not similar at all, in fact they are two very different things.

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Emma teamed up with herself to bring us this one...
"There is no 'team' in 'I'."

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Don't worry if you don't see your submission here, I'm going to keep posting these every month. So make sure to let me know if you've heard any new ones. Oh, and don't forget, you can click the box in my sidebar to send me your favorite Malaprop ANY time you hear one, and I promise to print it in a future edition!