Note: In an effort to keep this post "breakfast friendly," I had originally titled it "Flowers Have Hurt My Back!" AND had a nice pretty picture of flowers below. However, because Mooselet has recommended a more "manly" approach in the comments, I have now renamed and reimaged this post as follows. Be careful what you ask for my dear!
Maggots have caused me some serious back pain this morning.
How?
Simple.
- We have tons of Black Eyed Susans by the garage.
- The Black Eyed Susans have attracted aphids this year.
- The aphids are attracting millions of flies.
- The flies are getting into our garbage in the garage.
- I went to take the garbage out to the curb this morning but there were maggots crawling out of the top of the bag.
- I didn't want the bag to touch my body so I held it out in front of me while I carried it.
- It was too heavy to carry that way and caused my lower back to go out.
Why don't you think this is me?"Maggots!!!"
I'm sure he hears this all the time.
20 comments:
pansy.
(sorry, couldn't help it)
Why is it when I read the word "maggots" I immediately start to gyrate wildly as if they were crawling on me?
Thanks a lot. Now everybody at the coffee shop thinks I just had a seizure! :-)
your roundabout thinking reminds me of why a fire engine is red. :-)
People are always hurting their backs in weird ways: washing the dishes, brushing their hair. What do you think this means? I am going to start flinging myself across the room all day every day to prevent the sort of mundane activity that is apparently very dangerous to my spine.
What a dis-Aster. I'm so gladiolus you're seeing the chiropractor. Read his tulips and do exactly as he says. Hopefully you'll feel rosey again soon.
chanakin - That's ok, I'm a sucker for a good pun. You know that for sure!
dave2 - Glad I could be there for ya' buddy!
*lynne* - Good story, thanks for the link!
schnozz - Sounds logical to me. Don't worry, no one will think you're any wierder than they currently think you are.
waya - Yeah, you'd think someone in such good shape wouldn't have these sissy back problems huh?
jennine - Wow, that's a daisy of a comment. Hope you didn't spend too much tyme on that :-)
You must have been afflicted with the "back pain" that's going around. My mom and my husband both "woke up" last Sunday with back problems. I thought I was listening to a broken record between the 2 of them. Thankfully, they've both recovered...after much whining of course.
You don't whine do you Jeff?
I think you should have sold the maggots to Fear Factor for contestants to gag on. It is such an uplifting show!
Ha!
I got a herniated disc while brushing my hair.
Seriously...I feel your pain.
heather - Ooh, I hate it when people whine! That's just so irritating. Why can't people realize that whining is irritating? Why do people have to whine anyway?
dad - You obviously haven't seen Fear Factor. On that show, eating maggots is like a free pass!
mooselet - Done.
jenny - Yeah, well I'm guessing I won't have that whole "brushing my hair" problem anytime soon.
annelynn - Then I'm quite sure you will NOT enjoy my new reposting of this! Sorry.
Yuck!
And I hope you back feels better.
I will never sit down at my computer with lunch again. Thanks, Jeff. Here's a kick in your shin to go along with that backache.
Maggots ARE disgusting. It's practically their middle name. Just the word induces my gag reflex. Hope your back gets better.
I don't know what everyone's problem with maggots is. But aphids, on the other hand, ewww [shudder].
I'm ready for an update on your back pain, Jeff. Did the adjustment help? Are you sure your new role of stripper/Stair Master wasn't the cause?
Inquiring minds want to know.
ashley - Yes, my back does feel better, thank you. I took a ton of Advil yesterday and before bed and it feels better today.
wendy - Sorry, but there are no guarantees on the world-wide-web that the next site you click on won't gross you out!
annelynn - Lucky dog to have found you - that's for sure! Hey - I say we ALL publish our maggot stories in one giant "maggotfest!"
yello - Yeah, a lot of people have that reaction. I've seen enough of them in my time that I'm no longer bothered by them. I think flies are more disgusting. They can land on your food!
waya - I was waiting for a big "EWWWWWWWWW." Thanks for coming through for me.
jennine - Damn, you're onto me - it had nothing to do with maggots or garbage. You're absolutely right. I injured myself because I didn't stretch properly before approaching the pole.
Wait, what? Aphids attract flies???
I almost stepped on a deer crawling with maggots during a road pickup. At first I jumped back before I returned to view these enviromental wonder workers, as well as my future.
linda - I don't know about that officially, but the only flowers with millions of flies on them are the ones with aphids. Henceforth...
dad - Thanks for that image. I'll try not to remember you as a carcass full of maggots.
Geez, I get behind on my blogreading and the whole world starts falling apart. Back-wise, I mean. I recently hurt mine, too, putting a bookshelf together.
Wow, this is my life now. Complaining about various injuries. 40, here I come!
A few years ago i was hit by a car and injured my back this caused me so much pain it was ruining my life and then i tried one of those mattresses that mould to your body shape and adjust to your weight and i slept great for the first time in months and woke with no pain at all! You should try it!
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